Drive west on Sunset to the sea….

Why does anyone need a Hummer? WHY? (I’m talking about the vehicle, not the sexual act…I can TOTALLY see why a ‘hummer’ for my lover is important.)

There’s a rash, a gaggle, a host of Hummers in this area, and they scare the pee outta me. NO ONE should have a car that huge, that tall, that menacing. When they’re sitting in those things, they see OVER my car. If they got their iTunes blaring and eatin’ a Krispy Kreme and daydreaming about Jessica Alba, what are the chances that they’ll see my itty-bitty tail-lights flash red and STOP before they run over me?

Drrr.

OTOH, I totally want an RV. Yes. I want to pack up Sergei and the kids, throw some paper plates in the cabinet, put the cat in vet-storage, and head out on !The Open Road! for a summer of adventures. Granted, this is the same daydream where I’m a school teacher and have summers off. But STILL…it’s MY dream, dammit. I wanna bunk down in a campground, sit outside with the stars overhead and a fire going, and then retreat to the comfort of my A/C-chilled double-wide king-sized RV for a night of liquor and Jon Stewart on the telly. Is that so wrong?