Poetry Friday WORD for Tomorrow, and does your butt itch?
Spring Break is next week for most of the schools in the area, and last night at Girl-Child’s dance class, The Other Moms were talking about their plans…”We’re going to Hilton Head”…”Our family is flying to DisneyWorld”…”The Caribbean is only a short jump from Miami anyway”….
Well good for you, beotches. ‘Cause while you’re gone I can drive around my city and not have to deal with your dumbass driving techniques. I can eat out anywhere I want and not have to deal with your misbehaving children, especially that 3-year old that you let throw toy cars at people. I don’t have to hear you blabbing on and on about your church, your financial situation, or how you don’t understand how working moms can be GOOD moms.
Don’t let the door hit ya in the ass on the way out of town.
The Poetry Friday WORD for Tomorrow is AWAY. As in, going away. Far, far away. Feel free to use this word in your blog post tomorrow, in whatever coconut-scented SPF50 you desire…poem, story, photo, limerick, instrumental variation on Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, thong-panty reveal….
At Girl-child's school musical yesterday, a nurse friend of mine said some child at school (a snot-nosed dirty boy, I assume) has come down with pinworm. I have only a vague notion of what that is, so I asked her what it meant, and she said, “Worms come out your butt.”
Sure enough, I read the note in Girl-Child's backpack and this is what it said: “Pinworm is an intestinal infection caused by tiny parasitic worms measuring about 5 to 10 millimeters (about half to one centimeter) in length…About 2 to 4 weeks after a person acquires the pinworm eggs, adult female pinworms begin migrating from the large intestine to the area around the rectum. There, they will lay new pinworm eggs, which trigger itching around the rectum.”
And so on.
And it’s really hard to read this stuff without laughing.
So, you get this parasite from some dirty kid. You put your finger in your mouth, the pinworms go on Spring Break down to your intestines, and when they want to lay eggs, they travel to the amusement park called “My Rectum”, and do the deed. You then scratch your butt, touch the counter, someone touches it after you, the pinworms get in their RV and travel into their mouth, etc.
The funniest part was the diagnosis. “Your child’s doctor may ask you to help make the diagnosis of pinworm by placing a sticky piece of clear cellophane tape against your child’s rectum. Pinworm eggs will stick to the tape and can be seen under a microscope.”
Tape my child’s butt cheeks together? And then examine the results?
I’m secretly hoping someone we know will get it, and tell me how all that goes down. Tape your butt hole and look for eggs? Now THAT’S some sort of fun!