Monday, August 04, 2008

Mona and the Bad Eggs

I’m not a stupid person.
I have a college degree and a number of years analyzing complex computer systems.
I learned to cook when I was 9.
I have experienced things in life that I shall never divulge to my children or the media.

Why is it then?

Why is it that I can’t peel a goddamn hard-boiled egg?


For years I have eaten hard-boiled eggs at breakfast. Easy, quick, full of protein. I have boiled them for 10 minutes. I have boiled them for 12. I have gotten them to boiling and turned the water off to let them cook “naturally”.

It doesn’t matter.

If I bring two eggs to work, one is always, inevitably, impossible to peel, and I end up eating only one.
If I bring one egg to work, it is always the "impossible to peel" one, and I end up with an ort of pock-marked white and squished yolk, and end up supplementing my “breakfast” with beef jerky from the machine in the break room.

I have peeled them dry.
Or under running water.
I always break the “air sac” first.
I have shocked them with cold water as soon as they’re done cooking.
And let them cool on the counter at their own speed.

What.
The.
Hell.

I have come to the conclusion that it’s not me.
It can’t be.
As I am smart and egg-friendly.
It must be the eggs.
They’re BAD EGGS.
Or do you know something I don’t?


7 Comments:

At 11:26 AM, Blogger Miranda said...

It happens to me as well, Mona. Bad, bad, very bad eggs. Although the expensive $3 free range eggs seem to fail me less.

 
At 11:49 AM, Blogger meno said...

It's a conspiracy. The hens are behind it.

 
At 12:15 PM, Blogger Charmed said...

Older eggs are easier to peel than fresh(er) eggs.

 
At 1:10 PM, Blogger patches said...

I can't peel or crack the little fuckers without making a giant mess, and that is why I will never have my own show on the food network.

 
At 8:15 AM, Blogger gary rith said...

15 minutes, Mona, try 15

 
At 3:23 PM, Blogger Clowncar said...

Nice clip. Didn't see that coming.

I don't eat, and thus don't peel, hard boiled eggs. So, sorry, no advice, and not much empathy. Hard boiled eggs are nasty.

 
At 5:38 AM, Blogger D-Man said...

I sympathize. There was a time when I couldn't make custard...

 

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