Mona and the Bad Eggs
I’m not a stupid person.
I have a college degree and a number of years analyzing complex computer systems.
I learned to cook when I was 9.
I have experienced things in life that I shall never divulge to my children or the media.
Why is it then?
Why is it that I can’t peel a goddamn hard-boiled egg?
For years I have eaten hard-boiled eggs at breakfast. Easy, quick, full of protein. I have boiled them for 10 minutes. I have boiled them for 12. I have gotten them to boiling and turned the water off to let them cook “naturally”.
It doesn’t matter.
If I bring two eggs to work, one is always, inevitably, impossible to peel, and I end up eating only one.
If I bring one egg to work, it is always the "impossible to peel" one, and I end up with an ort of pock-marked white and squished yolk, and end up supplementing my “breakfast” with beef jerky from the machine in the break room.
I have peeled them dry.
Or under running water.
I always break the “air sac” first.
I have shocked them with cold water as soon as they’re done cooking.
And let them cool on the counter at their own speed.
I have come to the conclusion that it’s not me.
It can’t be.
As I am smart and egg-friendly.
It must be the eggs.
They’re BAD EGGS.
Or do you know something I don’t?